Random Thoughts and Whatnot

If you’re like me and are TERRIBLE at picking out the right gifts for people, here’s the perfect stocking stuffer for anyone who has a good sense of humor: The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks (son of Mel Brooks).  It is probably the funniest book I’ve ever read.  Brooks divides zombie “outbreaks” into four categories, from Category 1 (one to twenty zombies, usually in a Third World country) to Category 4 (the “doomsday” scenario).  Brooks then discusses in a logical and orderly fashion the various types of weapons and the rules for using them, modes of transportation, strategies for escape, attack, or defending your “fortress,” and an Appendix describing recorded outbreaks throughout history.  All with helpful diagrams and illustrations.  Truly, it is a must for that loved one who might one day have to battle the Undead.  FREAKING HILARIOUS.

Another great gift idea to please quirky loved ones at Christmas: something from the store at my very favorite website of all time, The TRUTH About Black Helicopters.  Now your loved ones can do their part to combat the insidious, nefarious machinations of black helicopters, tree octupi, and other minions of the New World Order.  A Christmas staple!

Much love and good-luck wishes to the Pachyderm as she swims the treacherous waters of law school finals.  Kick some butt for the Queen, you hot bitch!

This week, the Swedish military ceded to the demands of a bunch of hysterical pre-menstrual females and removed the penis from the heraldic lion on the Nordic Battlegroup’s coat of arms.  If there is a more pitch-perfect symbol of the West’s self-emasculation via the shibboleths of multiculturalism and political correctness, I can’t think of it.  Oh wait, I can: Great Britain signing away its sovereignty to the EU

Half a billion dollars of taxpayers’ money will be sent to the “moderate” Palestinian government, where it will be used to kill Jews, oops, I mean “fight poverty.”  Merry Christmas, Hamas!

If anyone hasn’t seen “Cinderella Man,” please immediately rent/buy/Netflix it.  It’s fantastic.  And it also shames just about anyone who claims to be “poor” in America in the year 2007.  The vast majority of our “poor” have air conditioning, at least one color TV, and a microwave, and 43% of “poor” Americans own their own home.  Yet the whining never ends.  

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~ by lewdandlascivious on December 15, 2007.

One Response to “Random Thoughts and Whatnot”

  1. Thank you! 🙂 I’m done with two papers and just got out of CBA. Two exams left (Fed Jur and Health Law).

    As for the removal of the male anatomy from a male lion:
    1. Why are these women thinking about lions in a sexual way?
    2. If they are going to emasculate the lion (because guy lions are offensive?) shouldn’t they also remove the mane? After all, it’s still a guy lion, just one with a high-pitched Rrrrrarrr!
    3. As my twin’s sister-in-law said to her: “Love the penis, [name], love the penis.” Sheesh.
    4. Aren’t these the same people who put on productions like the Vagina Monologues? So vaginas are not only suitable for public mention, but there should be ART about them. Not so much for men. I mean, I’m all about equal-opportunity modesty, but if you aren’t going to be modest, you should at least have equal-opportunity exhibitionism.

    Okay, I’m beyond loopy. Going to get something to eat that isn’t coffee. 🙂

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