Random Venting

On my S*** List:  Married/attached people who are too selfish or dense to realize that it is NOT FUN to be the only single person at an event.   These people need to be shaken, not stirred.  Newsflash, all you self-satisfied married women/girlfriends of the world (and clearly, this is not hypothetical–I’m in Arkansas so I have to deal with a lot of these people):

1.   It is rude and thoughtless to invite a single person to an all-couples event: there are few other situations where a person sticks out so dramatically.   Unless you were raised in a barn, you should know better than to put a guest in such a situation. 

2.  It’s awesome that you would like to set me up with your brother-in-law, boyfriend’s brother, or whoever.  But could you do it discreetly?  When you broadcast it to the entire office, you are setting me up for total humiliation if the date is anything other than the start of a relationship.  Thanks a lot, because there’s just not quite enough stress in life already.

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~ by lewdandlascivious on November 3, 2007.

4 Responses to “Random Venting”

  1. Ditto that. I’ll never understand why people who are married sometimes forget basic manners. You wouldn’t invite an elderly person to an all-20-something event; don’t do the same to single people.

    Adding to #2: Please be discreet about our relationships, unless you want us asking you if you and your husband still get it on every night, or if you’re tired of faking it and are doing it once a month when he becomes intolerable. Really – we don’t ask personal, humiliating details about your love lives; the fact that we are single does not give you open season on ours.

  2. While you’re at it, you might want to give some sensitivity training to some of our wonderful co-bloggers:
    http://totaltransformation.wordpress.com/2007/11/06/sex-and-your-health/

    It’s bad enough to suffer through the humiliating of dating, the pain, and, more often than not, the trauma. It’s bad enough to be a social pariah. Now, we’re going to get osteoperosis and are mentally unhealthy. GRRRRRRR.

  3. Tell me about it. I feel the issue.
    Being (relatively) newly involved in a relationship, one of the things I’m very aware of and struggle to deal with and moderate is making my single friends feel involved and welcome when I’m with them and my sweetheart.

    But, the shoe is not just on the foot of those playing footsies. Being friendly and having friends involves being able to participate in a wide variety of social situations, including ones where your ‘type’ is in the minority, where you’re out of your element. And the ability to be friends with both halves of a couple is important and rewarding.

    The push to be one of the matched is indeed difficult to deal with and there is indeed an inordinate amount of pressure brought to bear socially on those who are not coupled. But when you’re coupled, you want all your (single) friends to feel the joy you’re experiencing in finding your soulmate.

    Singleness is NOT overrated. But I’m very much enjoying, and plan on continuing to invest in my not being single.

    I feel your pain, and right now being on the other side of the fence I also see where this could be an opportunity for growth.

  4. But, the shoe is not just on the foot of those playing footsies. Being friendly and having friends involves being able to participate in a wide variety of social situations, including ones where your ‘type’ is in the minority, where you’re out of your element. And the ability to be friends with both halves of a couple is important and rewarding.

    That is so TOTALLY beside the point, it’s not even funny.

    I firmly believe that children should know how to communicate and socialise with adults. That does not mean that I would throw a cocktail party, invite all of my twenty-and thirty-something friends, and a single, lone child, then expect that he should “get along” because he is “in the minority” and “out of his element.”

    Fact is, you don’t invite one or two elderly persons to a bachelorette party; you don’t invite a single to an otherwise all-couples event; and you don’t invite one child to an otherwise adult event. It’s just RUDE.

    Patronising claims about how we ought to learn to be friends with both halves of a couple (which I do quite well, thanks) ignores the FUNDAMENTAL issue of manners. I do not think that I need to develop super-human social graces to deal with other people’s bad manners – and being the lone single at a couple-only event SUCKS.

    I’ll happily go out with my couple friends for time with three of us. I do that quite frequently. I”ll also see my coupled friends on their own, because, frankly, the friendship isn’t always about the couple. What I refuse to do is to be a fifth wheel, and anyone who asks me to be in that situation has a serious social problem. Their problem, not mine.

    Clear?

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