Dear Mister Jesus,

You might’ve noticed that I’m talking to you pretty much 24-7 these days.  Usually it’s just a despairing stream of incoherent pleas, dotted with (sincere!) apologies for the use of various curse words in novel combinations.  But you know I heart you, right? 

I understand if you can’t let me pass the bar exam.  If that dreadful calamity should come to pass, I’m sure You have a purpose for me, like a  fulfilling life waiting tables or working at the DMV.  It’s ok.  But I just gots to ax you for one thing—just one single solitary thing

Please, Mister Jesus, please let this be true.


The Q.O.S.


~ by lewdandlascivious on July 17, 2007.

3 Responses to “Dear Mister Jesus,”

  1. There is very little in this world that cracks me up the way your conversations with God do.

    If waiting tables until you are ancient were part of His plan, why did He give you such a spectacular brain? Really, let’s think this one through.

  2. Britney arrested?!? What is this country coming to? She’s above the law!! She’s America’s Princess!! This is an outrage. 😉

  3. I know, it’s almost beyond parody. Some people really do get worked up about Britney—one of my gay guy friends (the gayest of my gays, actually) wouldn’t speak to me on IM for like 2 days because I insulted Britney. It was pretty hilarious.

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