Wow. Just. . .Wow.

Just when I think the UN could not be more useless and chock-full of idiocy, we get this: the UN General Secretary, Ban Ki-Moon (whoever the hell he is) has announced that the genocide in Darfur was caused by. . .global warming.  That’s right, global warming. 

Of course, the UN isn’t ready to call what’s happening in Darfur “genocide”—heavens, no!  Perhaps after a few more million people have been slaughtered, the UN might convene a commission to study the possibility of issuing a statement expressing “grave concern” and considering the conditional use of the word “genocide.”  But not yet.

For now,  we’ll blame it on global warming.  Because God forbid we should acknowledge that the world has a Crazy Muslim problem, or treat Africans like sentient beings with the capacity for reasoning and the ability to control their actions. 

“The weather made them do it.”  You can’t even parody this stuff.

Hey, maybe we can go back and blame the Holocaust on a weird lunar cycle or low barometric pressure.   

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~ by lewdandlascivious on June 18, 2007.

10 Responses to “Wow. Just. . .Wow.”

  1. I think I laughed. I really want to, but I’m afraid that doing so would force me to acknowledge that people actually think this way. Better to believe that this is a Monday morning hallucination….

  2. “You can’t even parody this stuff.”

    You took the words out of my mouth. The poor writers of SNL are going to be out of jobs soon.

  3. I know, it’s pure insanity. This latest brilliant theory from the UN looks like it was plucked from the school essay of a precocious third-grader. “World leaders” my patootie.

  4. I always suspected global warming was to blame. Now, let’s see who will prove me right with it being the cause of inner-city gang activity, and oh yeah, poverty. I shouldn’t have to wait too long, should I? 😉

  5. Tammi,

    Global warming certainly results in poverty. It displaces people from their native lands, results in more severe weather patterns, crop failures, and the spread of diseases that disproportionately affect the poor. (Of course, it’s never promiscuity that spreads those diseases – that’s just the patriarchy running around and inoculating slutty women to punish them!)

    Inner-city gang activity is caused by global warming, too. See, 60% of gang members in LA are illegal immigrants. Why are they here? Because Mexico is not hospitable enough to allow them to make a living. If it weren’t for global warming, they would stay in Mexico (instead of traveling north) and we wouldn’t have nearly as many people in our gangs.

  6. I think I’m actually sorry to have written that. It’ll be front-page news somewhere. 😦

  7. Ok, sugar boo, just to clarify: those comments were a joke, right?

  8. Yes. They were.

    Then it hit me: some people could think they are serious. Then I got scared – because there are whack jobs out there who would say, “Of course! The problem of gang violence in downtown Los Angeles is absolutely the fault of SUV-driving soccer moms!”

    You can stop having a heart attack now. 🙂 (Really – I can’t find someone to perform CPR on you from all the way out here!)

  9. Hahaha! Injecting just enough snark into your words, so as to notify readers that you’re kidding. . . it’s a fine line. 🙂
    Breathing deeply now, in my happy place. 😉

  10. Stay in the happy place. 🙂

    Perhaps there should have been an eye roll after the first sentence, and then a lot of sarcastic “yes, yes, of course”s sprinkled throughout.

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