The warning before Sweeney Todd (I just got the DVD) says “Warning: Graphic Bloody Violence.”
I’d say!
I don’t think I’ve ever seen that particular warning before. . .
When You Want Your Child To Be the Hottest Ho Working the Corner. . .
This is the latest inspiring idea from that talentless, vapid, genetic freak known as Beyonce. Because really, we don’t sexualize children NEARLY enough. They might as well have photographed these kids sucking on bananas or licking cherries, and email it directly to every known pedophile in the country. Because this shit is going straight into every one of their spank banks.
I was never pathetic enough to listen to Beyonce Knowles’ “music,” but now she is far worse than a boring, unjustifiably rich, cookie-cutter pop slut. Now she’s an eager exploiter of children. Well, whatever it takes to get that cash, right?
Since I’ve Got Stephen King On the Brain. . .
. . . and I’m watching Cujo in the Free Movies section of Comcast On Demand (major score), some Stephen King favorites of mine. He has wounded the Queen but she still loves him.
These are all in descending order, although in some cases it is near-impossible for me to rank SK’s work:
Best Movies: Stand By Me, Silver Bullet, Carrie, The Shawshank Redemption, Dolores Claiborne, Misery, The Mist
WORST movies: The Shining (a disgraceful abomination–I spit on Kubrick), It
Character: Jack Sawyer (The Talisman, Black House) and Wolf (The Talisman), tying for #1 without a doubt. After that, there’s Roland Deschain (The Dark Tower series), Father Donald Callahan (’Salem’s Lot, Dark Tower), Ben Hanscomb (It), John Smith (The Dead Zone), Larry Underwood (The Stand), Arnie Cunningham (Christine), Susan Delgado (Dark Tower), Dinky Earnshaw (Everything’s Eventual, Dark Tower), Charlie McGee (Firestarter), Davey “Lardass” Hogan (The Body)
Phrase: crazy as a shithouse rat, thankya big-big, O Discordia!
Short Story/Novella: Apt Pupil, Springheel Jack, The Long Walk, Rage, Everything’s Eventual
Most Heartbreaking Moment: It’s a three-way tie between the death of Wolf (The Talisman), the death of Oy (Dark Tower), and the wrenching montage of false memories King uses to tell us of Gage Creed’s death (Pet Sematary)
Scariest book: The Shining, ‘Salem’s Lot
Best Book: Bitch, please. Like I can pick.
Oh, Stephen. You Hurt My Heart.
Stephen King and his wife Tabitha recently spoke in front of some high school kids at the Library of Congress, and ole Steve really stepped in some doo doo. In an attempt to emphasize the importance of reading skills and education, he said:
Let me say at the get-go that I actually saw the speech/discussion that started this whole kerfuffle: it was on C-Span or some public channel this weekend, and I watched while I worked on a hideously boring pleading. I heard Steve utter the controversial comment, and it actually did hurt me.
Anyone who knows me at all knows that I am a proud, lifelong fan of Stephen King and a fierce defender of his work. My mom never approved of “those horror books,” so since the age of oh, 9, I surreptitiously bought his books and just devoured them. It was the beginning of my kinky love affair with all things dark and wild, all things mysterious or inexplicable. I had an advanced vocabulary and understanding of syntax for my age, and Stephen King was 100% responsible for that. More importantly (to me, at least), his books fed my imagination and inspired me (if you notice, almost all of King’s stories celebrate courage, loyalty, and triumph over the nastiest things imaginable). Oh, I could go on and on: suffice it to say that I have always loved, loved, loved Stephen King, and have always considered him one of the finest writers I’ve ever read. I’m currently in the process of re-re-re-reading his Dark Tower series, which I think he would be gratified to hear is his best work to date. I fancifully consider myself the “Dear Reader” he addresses in the forewords to his books. Etc., etc.
So when I heard him casually imply that the military is the refuge of illiterate, dropout losers, it really, really sucked and made me feel feelings I never wanted to feel. Not right!
I’m not in the military, but my brother and cousin are, and a number of other members of my family have proudly served (and each of them has a genius IQ). So on a personal level, what he said was like a slap in the face. As we say down here in Arkansas, it hurt my heart.
On an objective level, I was disappointed in Mr. King’s remarks because I expect more out of him. He is more intelligent than I will ever be in my wildest dreams, and from everything I have read or seen, he is a thoughtful, fair, and compassionate person. So, I would’ve expected him to do his research before insulting disciplined and courageous people.
Mr. King is wrong on the facts: all but the tiniest fraction of our enlisted servicemen and -women hold high school diplomas, and one is required to earn at least a college degree before becoming an officer. And with regard to that miniscule percentage of enlisted soldiers who do not have high school diplomas: would they be better off working a fry machine at McDonald’s? Perhaps–just perhaps–those people joined the armed forces because they are patriots and believe that serving in the military is a noble undertaking, or at the very least recognized that service in the military would catapult them out of the “unhireable” category of job applicants. At any rate, I am extremely disappointed that Stephen King took the lazy, John Kerryesque route and assumed that all those kids in Iraq are only there because they didn’t learn to read and The Man denied them any other options. Inexcusable for someone of Mr. King’s caliber.
I am even more disappointed that he chose to react to the valid criticisms of his remarks by posting this on his website:
That a right-wing-blog would impugn my patriotism because I said children should learn to read, and could get better jobs by doing so, is beneath contempt. Noel Sheppard says, “Nice sentiment when the nation is at war, Stephen.” I guess he feels ignorance and illiteracy are OK when the country needs cannon-fodder. I guess he also feels that the war in Iraq has nationwide approval. Well, it doesn’t have mine. It is a waste of national resources. . . and that includes the youth and blood of the 4,000 American troops who have lost their lives there and for the tens of thousands who have been wounded. I live in a national guard town, and I support our troops, but I don’t support either the war or educational policies that limit the options of young men and women to any one career—military or otherwise. If you agree, find Sheppard on the internet, and send him an email:
“Hi, Noel—Stephen King says to shut up and I agree.”
Oh, that’s just great. How dare you criticize me? Shut up! Sorry, Steve. You weren’t making a broad comment about the Iraq war: you insulted the troops you claim to support, even as they are fighting for our country. Believe it or not, they are not sad sacks hopelessly toiling away as “cannon fodder” in Iraq. You must not know many soldiers. I do, and they’re badasses. Gunslingers, may it do ya.
I would also ask Mr. King if he has the same condescending pity for the brave American soldiers who saved the world’s bacon in World War II. Because if not, well then, there’s a little logic problem here. Because the GED was actually created for World War II veterans whose lack of a high school diploma might’ve hindered them from getting jobs. What does that tell us about the educational level of the Greatest Generation when they stormed the beaches and kicked Hitler’s ass? At the very least, it means that this nation’s defenders are above the pity usually reserved for the utterly weak and helpless.
I will never stop reading Stephen King’s books, and I still lurv him: one opinion/statement does not a man or writer make. But dude, I wish he would step back from the battle and realize that he was wrong to say what he said.
Well, thank goodness this blog is tucked into a quiet little corner of the Internet. If Stephen King told me to shut up or blasted me, I think I would curl into a ball and cry like a little bitch. Probably while clutching “Wizard and Glass” or “Salem’s Lot” to my chest. I admit it. Mr. King has the power to crush my ornery heart.
At the Death House Door: 3-1/2 Stars
The handful of people who read this blog—and anyone who knows me—knows that my only opposition to the death penalty is the innocence issue. I have absolutely no problem with killing people like Derek Todd Lee and many others like him, and in fact, I think the death penalty is too brief and merciful for them.
That being said, I watched a film called “At the Death House Door” tonight, and it was pretty good. The film revolves around two people: Pastor Carroll Pickett, the Texas Department of Corrections chaplain who oversaw 90-odd executions and gradually came to oppose the death penalty, and Carlos De Luna, a young man who was almost certainly innocent of the crime for which he was executed.
It’s a good movie, and I recommend it. But I can only give it 3-1/2 stars because there was absolutely no effort made to describe what the executed men did, or to show their victims, or to interview their victims’ families. “At the Death House Door” presents a very thoughtful look at the death penalty from the anti-capital punishment side, and it does it extremely well. But it’s not a one-sided issue. I have always been disturbed by how easily those opposing the death penalty dismiss the horrendous suffering of victims (while professing their utmost sympathy, of course).
Anyway, it’s a good film. I recommend it. But immediately after you’re through watching it—if you’re interested in getting a balanced look, that is—do a little research about the victims of the people executed in this country each year. If the two together don’t make you feel some uncomfortable and tumultuous feelings, I don’t know what will.
This Week. . .
I love, love, love. . . Robert Downey, Jr. And not just this week, either, but always and forever. Hilarious, an absurdly gifted actor, one of the best of our time (in my humble opinion), and one ferociously hot piece of pure sexiness. AND the most gratifying Hollywood comeback ever. I have always rooted for Robert, and he is on top of his shit these days. Yesssss!!!! Did I mention that he can sing, too? ‘Cause he can.
I feel incredibly sorry for. . . .Katie Holmes. That poor girl. She may have all the money in the world at her fingertips, but she is a prisoner of a narcissistic maniac and the brainwashing cult he worships. Money means nothing when you have no freedom, and now that she shares a child with Tom Cruise, she will likely never be free.
I am so over. . . liberal politicians daily dreaming up new ways to steal from—oh, excuse me, tax—citizens. This time, it’s Hillary Clinton and B. Hussein Obama pushing for a “windfall tax” on oil companies, for having the temerity to earn huge profits. If this rings a bell, you’re not crazy: Venezuela’s Communist “President,” Hugo Chavez, pulled it off just a few weeks ago. It’s infuriating: they’re proposing, with straight faces and zero shame, that the federal government should be able to decide—arbitrarily, of course—when a company is making ‘too much” money, and just snatch it. There’s a word for this: communism. Find a company (or, in this case, an entire sector of the market) that is viewed as Big and Bad, and just steal their profits. Right now it’s oil companies, which are making a lot of money by selling a precious commodity around which the entire global economy currently revolves. Who’s next? Google? Wal-Mart? Target? Hillary, Obama, and other liberal ”leaders” like them view the free market, and the property of U.S. citizens, as theirs for the taking. I don’t even want to think of the havoc these clowns would wreak on America if either one of them is elected President in November.
I am very thankful for. . .this sweet little lynx point Siamese kitty curled up next to me.
On American Idol Right Now…
. . . Natasha Bedingfield is singing, and she’s wearing an outfit that is 99% identical to my favorite semi-formal from my college years (ok, yes, in the early-to-mid-90’s, I’m old). The only differences: mine was a one-piece outfit with a collar (it was the 90’s, okay?).
That semi-formal was so freaking great. It was my all-time fave until I got really blotto at a sorority party and it “got burned” with a cigarette. I have no idea how that happened, but clearly some horrible drunk person negligently burned my semi-formal with their cig. RUDE!
The Circus Continues
After twenty years of attending Jeremiah Wright’s church and mining that association for every drop of black street cred it was worth, Obama has suddenly decided to distance himself from Wright’s unrelenting hatred of America and the crackpot black liberation theology that has been his signature philosophy for decades. Thus the False Messiah speaks, and his minions–encompassing almost the entire buttkissing mainstream media and the hordes of emotional thinkers known as “Obamaniacs”–have breathed a sigh of relief and declared the controversy over.
In their dreams.
Obama is “outraged” by the “divisive and destructive” comments Wright made during public appearances this week. Interestingly, those comments were perfectly consistent with Wright’s virulent brand of theology and his sermons, which Obama calmly listened to and hollered “Amen!” to for twenty years. But now, all of a sudden, Obama is outraged by Wright’s hatred and paranoia. Outraged, I tell you! Incensed, even!
To which I say, BITCH, PLEASE. Only a brainless liberal would believe that (a) Obama had no idea–no clue!–what Wright was about all these years; (b) that his lame-ass denunciation, in the home stretch of the Democratic primary competition, could possibly be genuine; or (c) that verbally distancing oneself from the a racist crackpot at this politically crucial time could EVER offset, let alone excuse, twenty years in bed with a man who patently despises America, undermines it with every means at his disposal, and has indoctrinated generations of black Americans to do the same.
Unlike thumbsucking liberals, I am horrified at the thought that someone who might be our next President has consorted with insane racists and terrorists (William Ayres and Bernadine Dohrn) for decades, not because of what those racists and terrorists say, but because of what they are: what they believe and willfully represent, with every breath and ounce of passion and activism they can muster. I’m even more disturbed at the implications of those relationships: at best, Obama snuggled up to these monsters in a cold, calculated grab for political power and credibility as a black man (which his snooty ass would most certainly not get “on the street”), or, even worse, he buddied up with these types and has run in their circles because he actually agrees with them.
Personally, I think it’s both. It’s just that now, at long last, Obama’s relationships with Jeremiah Wright, William Ayres, and Bernadine Dohrn are no longer politically expedient, so with all the ersatz outrage and decency his slick ass can manage, Obama has thrown his hard-Left friends (well, these hard-Left friends) under the bus.
Kinda like how he threw his white grandmother–who nurtured him and loved him unselfishly–under the bus when he needed to be a bona fide Victim: the stereotypical put-upon Black Man in a racist America.
Not only does this reveal a character completely bereft of personal integrity, it indicates how Obama would deal with America’s real enemies (as opposed to Whitey). I envision a beautifully worded but fundamentally vacuous “denunciation” of Iran. . .after they’ve nuked Israel. A solemn, heartfelt condemnation of al Qaeda. . .after President Obama’s historic “diplomatic outreach” fails, and a bomb kills 75,000 Americans at the Superbowl.
Oh well, as long as he looks and sounds pretty, who cares? After all, it’s always someone else who dies.
Dang.
I’m watching the Arkansas Quiz Bowl finals, and am feeling not only old as God’s Memaw, but dumb as hell. The only questions I know are those involving art, art history, and literature. The rest? Not so much.
I’m telling you, these kids are wicked smart. The stuff they know. . .
Interestingly, the two finalist schools are smaller charter schools.
It would be nice if the government would let disadvantaged kids have the chance to attend these schools, instead of locking them into inferior public schools like veal calves in pens. Vouchers, anyone?
